Funny Jokes!

Humor for Gentlemen   Main   Daily Cartoons   Babes   Funny Video Men's Unwritten Rules 1. Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers. 2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a. When a heroic dog dies to save it's master b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse c. After wrecking your boss' car. 4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her. 6. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a pal's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable. 7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man in fact, even remembering your pal's birthday is strictly optional. 8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 10. It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free. 11. Only in situations of Moral and/or Ass peril are you allowed to kick another guy below the belt. 12. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. 13. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem, you didn't see nothin'. 14. Women who claim the "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much beer as the other sports watchers. 15. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan. 16. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean. 18. If you complement a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. 19. Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a pal of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response. 20. Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone; Hang up if necessary. 21. You cannot rat out a co-worker who shows up at work with a massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his monitor is broken, and have him paged over the loud speaker every seven minutes. 22. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.